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Episode 16
Yet another week in Oz and time to bring you guys up to date with events. This is a modest effort this week with not a lot happening but enough to fill an Ozblog. Hope you enjoyed last week’s marathon (needed a lie doon efter it). So, sitting in the pateho as usual. It’s Saturday 10 May around 11 am (1 am your time) and already the temperature is about 22C. I believe you guys have had some pretty decent weather recently so hands up awe them what’s sun burnt. Come on be honest! Well we have just been given our settled forecast for the next 2 months (aye, months) and its nae rain plus 24 - 27C every day. Stick that in yir pipe and smoke it! Just been up for the Saturday Rainforest and spotted at a quick glance (that I know you fitba guys will like it) a quote in the sports pages which goes: “Harry Kewell (an Aussie remember) costs more than Channel 5 pays for an episode of Neighbours - and only lasts for half as long”. Fair sum up? So catching up on last week’s stuff first. Headed for the Southbank on Saturday 3 May to the celebrations for Buddha’s birthday. Lots happening (as there usually is at Southbank) such as music, stalls, exhibitions, stuff to eat, dancing and candles to light. Liz bought a candle and put a wish on it that merely said “The Russells”. So if any of you lot have fallen into any money recently we want our cut. Went to get tickets for the Seafood Festival on Sunday but they were sold out. Found out it was really popular and they had to sell tickets to control the crowd. So instead, on Sunday we headed for the Thomsons (auld dude that left Nitten over 40 years ago, remember?) to re-acquaint ourselves because we had not met up with them since Nikki returned home. Sat in his garden while they had a drink (no me because I was driving) and chatted about Alan Prentice when he played for Capalaba (Peter’s local team who are in the league below Taringa Rovers). Ended up agreeing to spend a Saturday watching Peter’s team and having a few beers. His son, Jamie, and family joined us and I found out he already had tickets for the Australia v Iraq World Cup game on Sunday 1 June. They had gone on sale and I had missed it! Pillock. He cheered me up by saying he went in 3 days after they went on sale and could only get tickets at the very top layer of the stand. Even bigger pillock!! When I got home I got onto the Ticketek web site to search for tickets and they did not have even a mention of the game on their site. Big, shooge pillock!!! So jumping to Tuesday 6 May I headed for the closest Ticketek office to ask for tickets (or even a dear one for me (dinae tell Liz, OK)) for the game expecting to be laughed at. The cheery wumin said: “Where about?”, ah thought, f*** me I’ve got a choice. So chancing my arm I said: “About 18 rows back from the front, doon the bottom, please”. “Nae problem” she says, ah thought, f*** me. So we ended up with 2 tickets just off centre (looking along 18 yards box). Tickets in sweaty palm, ah had to ask where she goat them fi. She said they had just been allocated extra tickets. How good is that. See, is the Buddha candle the business or what? Went out on Sunday due to Labor Day off on Monday. Relatively uneventful, started at the RE but it was absolutely choc a bloc with the young team who were obviously off on Monday as well. So left and headed for the P&W for a few to finish the night off. Sat and watched the Arsenal v Everton game then headed home. Monday off was the day of rest but I decided to do one of the forest walks up at Mt Coot Tha (probably as a penance). Nae Liz (that’ll be right yir on yir own) so headed off wi ma wee bottle of water and did the walk ending up knackered. Quiet week at work again but it was only a 4 day week so the weekend is here again (yahoo). We went to the Taringa Rovers cricket presentation doo last night (Friday 9 May). Had a really good time, they really are a great bunch of blokes. Plenty drink, nice meal and prolonged trophy presentation ceremony. They had a young bloke who is wicket keeper for the Queensland Bulls professional cricket team who told his life story and said he was happy to take questions. Took so f***ing long that even I asked him a question! Any way after much drink and games of pool I weaved my merry way home. Feeling a bit intoxicated still at the moment so feel like going to the Nitten game for a ting tong (but I cannae!!). A good victory (eventually) for the Star to keep up the pressure on Forfar. DNE now out of it thanks to Musselburgh. Another must win at Armadale today so have a drink for me in the Goth (remember and gie Nikki a drink because she will be there). Nae game for Forfar but they have DNE at home soon (our best chance for glory) so here’s hoping. Pish result for Hearts on Monday against Falkirk in Setanta’s glamour tie, so here’s hoping they do better against Kilmarnock at home today. Will be sitting up listening to it so remember and keep us up to date about the Nitten score. For a change Taringa are away from home today. I reckon they have to have played a few teams away from home twice already. Naebody can have that many games away from home and no have played somebody twice! And you guys thought that your allocation of fixtures were pish. I think they are at home next week (Sunday 18 May) but I will check before I head down there for obvious reasons.Today is Brizzy’s big Expo 88 anniversary (remember the beginning of Brisbane as we know it today and all that) celebrations at the Southbank. So, if Liz ever gets up, we will be heading there but confidently predict that it will be absolutely choc a bloc. It has been on the TV and in the newspapers all week so it is (understandably) a big deal for them. Not sure if we will get near the place but there are plenty places to drink in the CBD (Central Business District). See, consoling myself already.
Well enough is enough so catch you all next week.
Yours in sunshine
The Taringa Two
Episode 15
Well how’s things with you guys? Hope all is well. I’ll start by saying that I have enjoyed some of the banter recently by way of one to one e-mail exchanges prompted by the main Ozblog of course. Keep them coming. I had planned a theme day this week but suspect there is so much routine stuff that if I go for one I’ll be sitting here all day. Now whilst I like my Ozblog I also have other things to do at the weekend. Honest. So let’s get started a lot to get through. Sitting in the pateho about 10 am on Saturday morning, 3 May 2008 (1 am your time so you will all be tucked up safely in bed (except Gogs of course!)). Temperature about 22C already so it is rather pleasant. Forecast for the week is much of the same (yahoo). Long weekend because Monday is public holiday (Labor Day (correct spelling)) but more of that later. Liz is tucked up in bed for the moment. Just had an interesting start to the day whilst out buying my Saturday Courier Mail (rainforest edition). To let you know part of my short journey involves me negotiating a complex set of traffic lights. Its taken me a while to suss out the phasing but I am now adept at timing my crossing to perfection despite the fact the green man phase has not kicked in yet. Well anyway I was doing a first cross (road 1) when, after a quick glance, I noticed I could do the second cross (road 2) at the same time so I deviated my route to kill the two birds with the one stone (or a shortcut if yir no gid at sayings). I noticed at the corner of my eye that a backpacker, presumably thinking I knew what I was doing, headed off after me. We both got clear of the road and I said: “Why did you take off before the green man?”. Answer: “I just followed you”. Retort: “What if I had just read some bad news in the paper and was heading off under a bus?”. Answer: “It hadn’t occurred to me!”. At that I walked off into the sunrise. Now I have left someone with either a life changing experience or thinking that I am a f***ing idiot. I’ll leave you to decide. Anyway last week’s round up. On Friday 25 April we had a look at a few houses up at Mango Hill/North Lakes. Tried to find somewhere to eat but seems like Anzac day is a bit like Easter; naywhere f***ing open. So headed home had a bite to eat and a lazy day. Headed for the Broncos game (rugby league) at night via the Royal Exchange Hotel in Toowong (cannae go ti live sport without a bevy (especially if you’ve goat ti watch Livingston!)). Remember they were playing the South Sydney Rabbitohs (Russell Crowe’s team and the worst team in the league (played 7, lost 7)). Anyway the Broncos won at a canter 32 - 16 (I think!). However heading back was on event! If you remember the tickets for these big games are cheap (I think that game was £20 each) with free public transport (bus/rail/ferry) thrown in. So we headed to Milton rail station (ask Nikki if you want to picture the walk) with hundreds of others. We were first of all sent to the wrong platforms! So you had the people heading out of town on the heading in to town platforms and vica versa. So everybody was clambering over the top of each other to get to the right platforms. Got there and ended up on an extra train presumably to smooth out their f*** up! We were heading back to the RE so we got off at Toowong station (goat ti get mair bevy efter the game). The platform we got off was locked up for the night! How f***ing good is that? Someone came down the stairs had a go at the lock, could’nae open the shutter and disappeared never to return. So we spent the next hour in a queue for a 6 person lift! Goat ti the RE eventually, had a few and headed to the Pig & Whistle for the last few. Coming home from the P&W and Liz decides to phone Leigh/Nikki on the mobile. So she hands it to me (yi ken: “would you like to speak to your daughter?” stuff) and I take over. Wandering ahead of Liz speaking away when a scream rattles oot. Nah cockroach this time, she’s been hit by an egg from a passing car full of cock-ends. Nice end to the night! On Saturday we went on a drive up Mt Nebo and Mt Glorious. Noticed these drives on a supplement in the paper one weekend and decided to try this one. Really nice slow bendy drive interrupted by mad bikers (like Robert Ramsay) using it as a race track. Great views at the top and nice wee cafes selling local produce. Spotted lots of great BBQ/picnic areas as well so its on the list if anyone pays us a visit from Nitten. Good result for the Star again but Forfar only need to win their last two games and that’s that. Away to Rosyth today in a must win game to keep the pressure on. Hearts beat ICT with young Glen scoring again. Away to Falkirk in Monday night’s Setanta glamour tie! I popped down to Taringa Rovers game against Mt Gravatt on Sunday 27 April. Like last time it was a glorious day (about 26C) and the reserves were on first. The first half was even but Taringa were shite in the second half. They have a defence that is too slow and never win an aerial challenge so it’s not much of a defence really! Lost two goals and looked dead and buried until 5 minutes from time when the captain hit an unstoppable volley from 30 yards. They then had the audacity to score a headed equaliser from a corner 3 minutes into injury time to draw 2 - 2. If I was Mt Gravatt I would have reported a theft ti the polis! The Premier team then played and it was quite a good game with nothing much between the sides. However same thing happened! Mt Gravatt scored two goals in 15 seconds (aye, seconds!) mid way through the second half to take a lead which they held until the end. Taringa scored two good goals at the death to force a draw. Fair result in the end but Mt Gravatt must have been wondering what they had to do to beat them! Taringa are playing a team two leagues below them this weekend in a cup tie and, you guessed it, they are away from home. On the big team front I felt sorry for Liverpool but Moscow will not know what is going to hit them when Chelsea and Man U come to town. Going for a Man U win there. Rangers squeezing through to the final of the EUFA cup as well. But sorry Clerky got to go for Dick Advocaat’s Zenit St Petersburg to win there. Quiet week at work but spent two days at a BIG (business improvement in government) conference in Brisbane. Interesting stuff from a set of private sector experts on a range of subjects (all part of the learning process). Went to see the Foos on Wednesday and they did not let me down. They were at their brilliant self the whole show. Really enjoyed it. Last night we went to the Queensland Reds v Auckland Blues rugby union game at Suncorp, 7.40 pm KO. Again tickets £22 with free public transport. This league probably has the best rugby union teams in the world and is called the “Super 14”. Eight teams from Australia, four from South Africa and two from New Zealand. Anyway went to the P&W for a bite to eat and a beer before the game. However before I got there we wandered through the Inderpilly shopping centre. I handed my Tuesday night lottery ticket to the Golden Casket person (their Lotto) who sticks it through the machine to check for winners (it was $40m on Tuesday night). And I won $20.42 (yahoo), good start to the night I thought. [Aside: If you are following the P&W bands theme, the band on last night was “Swordfish”.] Anyway, meanwhile back at the P&W, there is a bit of a stooshie going on in Oz about binge drinking, alcopops etc (now where I have I heard that one before?). So the government in there wisdom has raised the tax on pre-mixed drinks, e.g. can of Bundaberg rum and coke, to cut down binge drinking. Pishing in the wind or what? A few unhappy, chappies going aboot last night. For Catherine Bennett, the P&W has just got two slush puppie machines in with, wait for it, strawberry and mango daiquiri in them. How f***ing good is that! No as good as your’s Catherine but Liz is into them already. Anyway got to the game via the Inderpilly Hotel (or HI to us locals) and train. Loads more drink at the game but the Reds bit the dust 35 - 22. They were pretty shite so they deserved it. Made our way back home via train and RE. Almost there, but had to let you know that the Suncorp stadium is next to the main Castlemaine XXXX brewery. Fine, but the lights on their (absolutely f***ing) shooge sign is on the blink. So you can look forward to seeing cans of three and a half ‘X’ in your local Tesco’s soon! Heading to the Southbank today for Buddha’s birthday celebrations and going to a Seafood festival (Liz’s shout) behind Suncorp stadium on Sunday. Having Monday OFF! Oh aye, and we’re going to the Taringa cricket team’s presentation doo next Saturday, 10 May. Bound to be a story or three there! Well heading to Woollies first for some food, catch you next week for a modest update.
Yours in prose
My wife and I
Episode 14
Well here we are again already. Seems like only a week since I sent the last one. Went through last week’s ‘theme’ and decided I really should have split it into two categories - a ‘things that are hard to get used to’ list and a ‘wondering/hoping’ list. So I have started collecting more of both and they will appear again in future weeks along with the other themes. Watch this space. Got a few replies to last week’s Ozblog so it must have attracted some people’s attention.
I have actually started this week’s a bit early so I am sitting out in the pateho on Thursday 24 April in the afternoon (3 pm our time, 6 am your time). Temperature about 26C and the forecast for the long weekend plus next week is for sunshine and 25 to 28C. I did tell you it was quite warm here, naw? Reason I am here is because I am in between dental appointments, yeh two in one day! Glutton for punishment or what? Found out that the dentists’ practice has their receptionists dress to distract you from the pain you are about to receive. Ken what ah mean, polo neck for a check up, a bit cleavage for a filling etc. When ah went in earlier on today she was sitting wi nae clase oan; say no more!
Last weekend didn’t quite go to plan. Didn’t quite make the visit to the different house types for various reasons so that is back on for Friday 25 April. Sunday 20 April was however a cracking day (28C+) so we went to the Southbank in Brisbane. To fill you in a bit more, it was the site of the old World Expo in 1988 but they left it as a parkland and entertainment centre. It’s got some stuff left from the Expo like the Nepalese gardens but it also as loads of restaurants, pubs, stages for bands (biggest sponsored by Suncorp (insurance company)), an urban beach (honest) and an arty farty market on Sunday.
Anyway the place was buzzing because of the weather. Had a wander round then decided to have a coffee. Don’t know if you like coffee but Brisbane must have more coffee shops per head of population than anywhere in the world. They are everywhere and they are mad for it. OK, so decided to do a tour of the park and as we headed towards the Suncorp stage I could hear someone playing Led Zeppelin. Thought, that’ll do me live rock and roll. As we got to the stage (actually a kind of open plan, circular theatre type affair) I realised that the music was actually coming from outside. Turned out to be two kids (girl 14 and guy 12) presumably brother and sister with him playing lead and her on the base with shots each at singing. When we got there they were playing “Whole lotta love” (Led Zep) and they were absolutely brilliant. Hung around as they wandered into “Purple Haze”, Jimmy Hendrix then “Angie”, Rolling Stones. I could not believe how good there were, thought to myself that Ricky Quinn would be in his element. Anyway don’t normally give these folk money but dropped $5 into their guitar box. Made my day (the music that is).
Must move on, another draw for the Star so it looks like time is running fast as far as this season’s concerned. At home to Montrose so you must be expecting a win this week. Fingers crossed that Forfar start to slip up. We plan to be up on Saturday night so let us know how it is going. Foxtel (the Aussie’s SKY) have the Chelsea v Man U game on live with a 9.45 pm KO so will be watching that. Good result for Hearts as well. Watched a replay of the goals on Hearts TV and there were some crackers plus the young lad Glenn looked OK. At home to Inverness Coloured Textiles (ask Nikki if confused) this weekend, so hoping for two in a row. We are heading to the Broncos v Rabbitohs (from south Sydney) rugby league game on Friday night for a bit injection of live sport. Friday is their Anzac Day (a public holiday) which is their equivalent of D Day (their’s is Gallipoli, our’s is Dunkirk) plus remembering every war they have been involved in from World War 1 onwards. Taringa Rovers don’t actually play until Sunday late afternoon against Mt Gravatt (a south Brisbane team) with a 4 pm KO. Working on Monday so a severe drink is out of the question. One day soon…..
Starting to take in a few more meetings at work which is really helping to join things up for me. They are getting used to me wandering out with my area of responsibility saying things like: “Well we used to do it this way…….and it was much better”. Don’t know if everyone is listening to me but who cares? Next week I am actually going to see the Foo Fighters at the Brisbane Entertainment Centre (about 10 km outside Brizzy, free train with ticket) on Wednesday 30 April. How f***ing good is that?!? Wasn’t going originally but a young (and huge Kiwi) lad at my work has been left with a ticket by his mates. Right in there, no need to ask a second time! So on Wednesday it will be: “A little crazy, little frayed around the edge….”. Get in there! Nane o that pish dance music Gogs!
Well mustn’t overstay my welcome, so until next week. Oh, and just a thought, what would you have been doing if you weren’t reading this pish?
Yours until next time
The Taringa Two
Episode 13
Just in case you were wondering, I do make a wee list of things to write about first to give me a start but then the creative juices go into overdrive. I don’t make any stories up (really) but I do, as one does, embellish the odd story for effect. I do aim to make it for family and friends (come on when was the last time I told a story at home without swearing!) but because it is regular (every week or so) I try to spice up normal events to make the read more interesting. Come on, if I did the old postcard stuff (weather great, food good, went for a shite etc) you would soon get pissed off. Got to make the audience not be able to wait for next week’s epistle. I should really start by saying how sorry we were to hear Jean Quinn had died recently. Our thoughts are with the Quinns and Tommy in particular. Nice woman Jean. So what am I going to get up to this week. Decided to go for the odd Ozblog with a theme in it in addition to the ‘normal’ stuff. So watch this space. Writing this on Saturday morning, 19 April at about 10 am (1 am your time). Temperature about 20C+ already. Temperature has dropped recently to about 24C max/ 17C min. Yeh I know, life’s a bitch. Sitting in my short sleeve polo shirt and shorts in the pateho (have you asked auld Barbara Morgan about that word yet?). Liz in bed, had a few sherries last night and she stayed up to phone the world (and their brothers). As you know, Liz hates a blether… So let’s revisit last week’s effort to bring you up to date. Not so good a result for Nitten last week. Nikki told me they were pish. By the way a big thanks from me to everybody who bought the poor wee soul a drink. As for you Clerky…. Any way Dundee North End away this week. Another hard game with the weeks quickly running out. I fear the mistakes at the beginning of the season will put paid to our promotion hopes. Hope not but I am a realist…. Hearts start there ‘play against the pish’ campaign at home to St Mirren. I’ll never forget the b***ards for 1986! Any way hope they get a result, will probably sit up and listen to the radio commentary on Hearts TV, so text us about the Nitten score. Thanks to Gordon for last week’s text. Believe it or not Taringa Rovers are away from home again this week! They are at home next week, Saturday 26 April with a 4 pm KO (yahoo) so I can see a few sherries looming…. Liz and I are going to watch the Broncos (rugby league) at Suncorp next Friday night. They lost 26 - 24 away to their local rivals the Gold Coast Titans last night which was a bit of a pisser. Flushed with the news of potential house sale in Nitten (didn’t happen though!) we headed off north last Sunday (13 April) to look at houses in Kallangur (about 20km north of Brisbane). There’s a type of house one developer does that has taken our interest. Met the ‘sales’ woman (they dinae gie yi a hard sale here because they are so laid back) and spent about 2 hours with her being shown around the estate. I think Liz is smitten but I am trying to keep her eyes open. So going to North Lakes/Mango Hill (near Kallangur) this weekend to look at different house types. Watch this space, fingers crossed etc. Went out last night but not much to report (RE, live band, daft folk dancing, Broncos on the big screen, lots of beer/Bundy/vodka, Pig & Whistle etc.) By the way talking of the P&G just passed a plumbers van this morning on the way to collect my rainforest (Saturday’s Courier Mail) and they were called ‘Salmon Plumbers’ so you see that band could have been called ‘Salmon’ a few weeks back (band was called Barra (short for Barramundi) this week!). And another thing, just remembered Liz went to try to dissolve her hangover last week by having a lie down in the afternoon. Went to Nikki’s old room because I was out the back on the internet. She had just lied down and I heard this almighty f***ing scream. Of course I jumped up, rushed to the room as she passed me heading for Sydney! Transpired that she was just getting settled down when she felt this tickle on the side of her face and tried to brush it away when she felt something on the pillow. Turned out to be a 2 inch long cockroach who seemed to have taken a shine to her!?! Any way the cockroach is no more, deceased, gone to that big cockroach party in the sky…. At work spent most of the week at a local government symposium. Trying to find out more about how everything fits together and all that. For you Transport Scotland guys they build and maintain their roads in an Alliance with us (the state government). None of this 'us and them', political points scoring when it come to roads! What a breath of fresh air… They have just gone through local government reform with about 140+ councils reducing to about 30 regional councils (where has that happened before….). They had a few moans (loads actually!) but like everything else what’s done is done and they are resigned to getting on with it. Any way theme #1. I thought I would start off with something that has obviously been with me since I got here, i.e. things that will take a bit of getting used to and wondering what’s happening at the other end of the world. Made a wee list but I am sure it could be bigger (or maybe I have gotten used to stuff already). So here goes:
Going to work when it’s sunny, warm etc. People with umbrellas up because it’s sunny, warm etc.
Getting to work (door to door) in less than half an hour. Eating outside all the time.
Going for ‘a bite to eat’ at lunch time. Going for brekky before work (outside café).
Going about in shorts and bare feet most of the time. Seeing spider’s webs 2 square metres big and spiders 3 inches long in your back garden. Liz no talking as much as she used to (honest). Not drinking as much (honest).
Wondering if Ritchie goat pished at the Hearts game. Wondering if Clerky will go and see “Horton hears a Who”.
Wondering if John and Barbara will ever get that conservatory finished. Wondering if there was a fight at the Legion last weekend. Wondering how many times ‘wir blue, wir white, wir f***ing dynamite’ goat sung at the last Nitten game.
Wondering if John Morgan and Brian Duncan ever goat that hole in their toupee fixed. Wondering if Livingston forced a corner last week. Hoping auld Isobel’s awe right. Wondering if Nikki’s goat a job yet.
Wondering if Derek Russell and Brian Duncan have been enjoying watching Livingston this year.
Wondering if Roy Halliday will ever get married. Hoping Leigh and the bairn will be OK.
Wondering if Bonnyrigg Rose will ever buy a fitba strip. Wondering who Gordon Bennett’s dug shed its hair on at the last Nitten game. Wondering if this list is ever going to f***ing end.
So enough of that pish, must go, heading for food shopping outlet at Inderpilly, mair lists to write…..
Yours for another week
The Ozzy Russells
Episode 12
Well here we are again. Writing this on Saturday 12 April at 3 pm our time, 6 am your time. Made a mistake with the times last week because I forgot you moved 1 hour forward at the end of March. So we are only 9 hours in front of you now. Catching up so it won’t be long before we are at the same time! An absolutely cracking day here, sun splitting the trees, probably about 28C. Sitting outside in the pateho writing this with the T shirt on sweating away over a hot laptop (as one does). I must have mentioned that it’s quite hot here at times, naw? However feeling a wee bit humpty so not really enjoying it but more of that later.
Picking up on last week’s tales, not so good a result for the Star so a win at Forfar today is a must. Be with you all the way with that so remember and text Liz with the updates (good and bad). Nikki is going so remember and buy here a drink. Poor wee soul is skint but she is making the effort to support the boys. Hearts had a disappointing draw which leaves them to play the season out against all the mince. Weekend off followed by St Mirren at home (thought that was a make of toilet as well and in their case I am probably right).
Went to see Taringa Rovers last week with 7 pm night KO. As I arrived, there already was a game on so I thought I had missed the start but they play a load of games one after the other. Meaning they play youths, reserves etc before the Premier team plays. The team that was playing was the Premier reserves and they all play the same club which is a sensible thing. Last week they were playing North Pine which is about an hour north of Brisbane. Apparently they have won the second and first divisions in consecutive seasons and are doing well in the Premier league. The first game was a reasonable standard with Taringa winning 4 - 3 after being behind most of the game. The Premier team are suffering a host a injuries already with about half their team out and most of them for the whole season. I was speaking to one of their long term injury guys who picked up on my accent. Apparently he was at Clyde for about 2 seasons not so long ago when Graham Roberts was there (famous victory over Celtic in the Scottish Cup). He gave me a bit background about the team, league etc. Anyway they eventually lost 3 - 0 but were by far the better team so you see these things happen over here as well. They had this wee, middle-eastern, nippy b***ard in midfield who I would have liked 5 minutes with on the pitch (know what I mean, soften his f***ing ribs and all that!). He eventually got Taringa’s captain sent off in the 50th minute but (yahoo) got shovelled off in a stretcher in the 75th minute. They had a really nippy committee as well (probably like the auld Dalkeith committee if anyone can remember that far back) who I threatened to throw off the balcony which they got upset about. Cannae think why. Anyway had a few beers in the evening warmth (about 22C probably) and weaved my merry way home. They are away from home again this week so I am having a weekend off.
Nothing to report from last weekend’s other events (honest) but for those of you desperate to find out how the Broncos got on they meekly succumbed to the Storm in Melbourne by about 22 - 6 so not much bone crunching except from Melbourne. Went to the picture last week to watch “The Spiderwick Chronicles”. Nikki tells me you guys are well behind with our films. Kind of like a ogres and elves film but not too bad. There is one film on just now called “Horton hears a Who” which is a Dr Seuss story about an elephant called Horton who hears a Who (funnily enough) which a wee, teennie person, kindae thing. Anyway the point of the story is every time a see an advert for the film I pish myself laughing because I think of big Clerky singing “Old Rugged Cross”. You know the one Clerky (all together now, with Billy Connelly accent), “Far away, on a who………..”. Ah well, at least me and Clerky will be having a laugh. One the subject of big Huns, couldn’t let it pass without mentioning their decent win in Lisbon during the week. Beating folk wi Celtic strips on in Lisbon whatever next!
Good news and bad news on the home (Nitten) front during the week. Had a bid for the house which I have turned down but here’s hoping and had my barbeque, garden furniture and lawnmower stolen probably by one of those junky bastards from Reid Drive. Anybody who knows anything let me know. Star also got planning permission for the houses etc so not long now before the cash rolls in (whoopee doo). And almost forgot won the Aussie lottery last week!!! A whole $13.20.
Not much at work of note but to celebrate (some of) the weeks events met up with Liz in the CBD yesterday (Friday 11 April) for a bite to eat and a few drinks. Started off at the local Belgian (expensive) pub and had stuff to eat from their all-day menu. Unfortunately me and Liz are still suffering from it (you know, feeling humpty, shits etc) so no food there again. Anyway went to Irish pub next and headed home for me to get changed. Went back to RE in Toowong (drinking Stella by the way, Belgian pub’s fault again!) and ended up at the Pig & Whistle to see the night (not sure which one by that time) out. Woke up this morning feeling a bit fragile. Can see the rest of the weekend just drifting out gently!
Finish off with a couple of trivial messages for Leigh and Nikki then go for a lie doon. Leigh, they sell Shin Cups in Woollies (how good is that) and Nikki the next World Cup game v Iraq is at Suncorp on 1 June. Just waiting for the tickets to go on sale. Hope naebody blaws there self up! Well must go.
Yours in Oz
The Brizzy Russells
Episode 11
How’s things with you lot? Writing this on Friday 4 April (at about 11 am our time 1 am your time). Having a flexi day off (yahoo!) because my time is starting to go through the roof. I am close to almost gaining an extra week every week and a half because of the hours I choose to work. Sitting outside in the pateho (pronounced pa - tae - oh, ask auld Barbara Morgan) with the temperature about 20C. Liz sitting in her jammies, eating a bacon roll, drinking a cup of tea and reading the morning papers. You see its nice and warm here so you can eat your meals outside. I did mention it was warm did I not? Up well before Liz, had a shower, breakfast, bought the paper and had a haircut. Yep, the locks have gone thanks to your local Lebanese barber in Taringa. Doon ti the wid boy, phone for the polis!
Anyway, as is my want, let’s start by mopping up the loose ends of last week’s Ozblog. Not so good a result for Nitten last week. Heard no reports but Kelty are not too bad a side so I would imagine everybody was pissed off getting beat on penalties. Good result for Hearts against Dundee Utted (maybe not so good a performance (listened to some of it on Hearts World but more of that later)). The Star at home to Kinnoul in the league in a must win game this weekend. Equally Hearts away to Kilmarnock in a must win game so good luck to them (and for all you Hibees feeling left out, who cares!). A wee footnote to Ritchie, sent your mate Bryan a reply through my dodgey e-mail address, if he doesn’t get it let me know. However bottom line is happy to meet him when he comes over and I will get him a job no bother (get him to send me a CV to ken.g.russell@mainroads.qld.gov.au).
Went to Alan Prentice’s going away doo (he should be home now) last Saturday. Had a great time meeting his family and friends in his sister in law’s house in Norman Park (nice suburb of Brisbane). House very smart, beautiful outside area (it was about 28C last Saturday) and getting a pool installed. Probably would cost you about $1,000,000 to buy it. Nice food, plenty of drink and had a good blether with what was mostly Scottish (or ex-Scottish) people. Guy even mentioned that Alan had given him Aly’s website address and he loves the videos because of the comments like: “See you number 7, your pish”. Of course I had to confess that it was me! And Steve and Aly please note, that there were a few photos taken of Alan and me with Nitten Star gear on which will be winging there way to you soon for the websites. Stayed until about 10 pm then went home and had more drink (surprise, surprise), watched Bolton v Arsenal on Foxtel (their SKY) and listened to the radio commentary of the Hearts v Dundee Utted game. Tried to watch the Man U v Aston Bungalow game which started about 3 am our time but fell by the way side. By the way tell Alan ‘thanks’ from me and Liz for a cracking Saturday.
Quiet week at work but decide to try and get myself a bit fitter. So me and Liz went down to the local park on Tuesday night about 6 pm and had a wee jog about. However started to feel my right calf again (remember the tennis game with my work? Who could forget!) but undaunted went back on Thursday at 5 pm. However this time I lasted half a lap and had to stop. I am sure there is a moral to this story. Not to worry, off on Friday (today) so decided to take Liz for a small refreshment. Went to the local Inderpilly Hotel first then up to the Pig & Whistle. You will have noticed that there has not been too much swearing to date this week, that’s because I’m saving it all for one blast, so if you don’t like swearing look away now. Thought I would give you a Kenny and Liz conversation because I know you will have been missing it for the last 4 months. So here goes (walking into the Pig & Whistle and Kenny speaks first (very important, so don’t loose the place)):
“There’s a live band on tonight”.
“Oh good, what’s it called?”./ “Salmon”./ “Your f***ing joking, salmon?”./“I, f***ing salmon”./“It’s no called salmon!”.
“It f***ing is, see, it says it there on the notice board”.
“That’s not the name of the band”./ “It fucking is!!!”./ “No it’s no, that’s the fish of the day”.
(Pause to check notice board).
“Well, f*** me, so it is. What’s the name of the band then?”./ “I don’t f***ing know, ask someone at the bar when you go up”.
“What do you want to to drink?”./ “Vodka and coke. Remember no ice”.
“Do you want any salmon in it?”./ “F*** OFF!!!!”.
Any way back to the ‘no swearing’ regime. Going up to the Hog’s Breath Café (remember, sort of like our ‘Beefeaters’) tonight at about 6 pm for a bite to eat then down to the RE in Toowong (bound to be a story there!). Also, big rugby league game on the telly tonight. The Broncos are away to Melbourne Storm, nothing much there you might think until I tell you that the Broncos are top of the league this year, the Storm won the league by a country mile last year and the Broncos have just poached their best player with much exchanges of abuse in the papers all week! Trust me, you’ll hear the tackles over there. Off to Bribie Island tomorrow. Nice place about 2 hours north of Brisbane and you can drive across a short causeway to it. Probably have a bar lunch and go to the massive, gigantic shopping centre at Chermside. If you want to go right through it all it’s an overnight stay job! Tomorrow night’s the big night we have all been waiting for, Taringa Rovers first home game with a 7 pm KO (9 am your time). Looking forward to a seat on the balcony behind the goals sipping a cold one. Yeh, I know, life’s a bitch…….
Well over stayed my welcome big time this week. Catch you all again next week.
Yours in warmth
Well here we are again, mair pish fi the other side of the world. I am doing this one in instalments but the events will be in chronological order so you cannae see the joins. Easter weekend so days off and finding time to write this will be kind of hit and miss. Anyway let’s get started. Started the long weekend off last week (flexi Friday remember) by taking my family for a bite to eat and a few drinks in the city (the South bank). Stayed on a bit longer than anticipated and ended up heading for home via a few watering holes. Went to The Royal Exchange Hotel first then got a taxi to Taringa Rovers social club. Ended up leaving before I got a drink because it was full of Brisbane Celtic guys who had been playing a bounce game with a local team (say no more!). Then went to the Pig & Whistle via a local hotel to see the night out. Anyway yi can imagine ah had had a few by then so I was just coasting the last hour or two when Nikki decided she wanted a f***ing daft Guinness Irish hat because she was going to a St Patrick day doo somewhere in Brisbane the next day. Nae problem you might think but the only thing was her f***ing dad hud ti drink four pints oh Guinness to get it before he went hame! F*** me ah thought, so much for coasting the night oot.
Last weekend was of course Taringa Rovers Cricket Club’s Grand Final. They ended up playing at home over 2 days against local rivals Indooroopilly (pronounced Inderpilly (f*** knows why, don’t ask)). Went down on Saturday with Nikki driving (yahoo!) so I had an Eski full of cider (steady Gogs!). In case you don’t know an “Eski” is an insulating box filled wi ice and beer (normally) to keep it cold. Yi see it gets quite hot here at times, did ah no tell yi aboot that before?
Anyway they did well in their first innings getting 190. During the change over we were having a blether and ah did ma auld fitba bluster stuff cricket style by saying, “Their pish, it’ll be 40 for 6 at the end of play”. Of course they all laughed until they came off at the end with Inderpilly (wait for it) 43 for 6. Of course I was highly delighted being Scottish and kenning f*** all aboot cricket. Geein it the auld, “call me a liar for 3 runs” stuff. Anyway had a few beers and headed off home looking forward to
Sunday. Sunday was even better for them because they had them out for 70. Put them back in and despite a sticky start got them out for 83. For the non-mathematicians amongst us that means they won by an innings and 37 runs. Not bad for a final. Of course at the end they were euphoric and ended up dragging me into the centre of the pitch for their winning huddle. They then sang their club song which I knew nothing about but, in honour of me, started it with, “wir blue, wir white, wir f***ing dynamite…..”. How good is that! Unfortunately, as everyone knows, it’s against my religion to drink on a Sunday so I said my goodbyes and said I would catch up with them again. Also caught the Isobels and Star committee out by phoning the auld yin on Saturday night (11 pm our time, 1 pm your time). They were having a few sherries before the Arniston game so I caught them and had a blether. Ended up being a good day for you guys as well with a sound 4 - 0 win keeping promotion to the ultimate league a reality. Keep it going. PS Alan Prentice is in Brisbane, e-mailed me to say he was coming but so far no contact to arrange a beer. Don’t know what’s happened! Setting up the internet outside on Wednesday night (because of Optus wireless internet reception) to let Liz send a message and ah goat bitten ti f***ing death by something in the space of about 5 minutes. Don’t know what it was but they must have been hungry because when I weighed myself ah hud lost a stone in weight! The work organised a team breakfast on Thursday (what a crowd they are) in the botanic gardens. Loads to eat, plenty of games, Easter egg hunts etc etc and all this before 8.30 am!?! How good is that? And all for $6. None of yir freezing yir arse off in Glasgow and getting a hard skelp in the puss for yir breakfast! Dinae talk to me aboot Easter Friday! Started of by taking Nikki to the airport for her flight. Of course she was fully prepared; good nights sleep etc - my f***ing arse! Wandered in at about 4 am and decided to have another drink so I don’t know what she will be feeling like on her journey home. I reckon when I send this she will be at Heathrow. Any way took the car home and headed into the city. Did happen to notice it was very quiet and the realisation gradually sunk in that most places were shut including (f*** me) the pubs. Managed to find somewhere open but the conditions of the licence were that you had to have something to eat and could only get a drink between one hour before and after your meal. What a f*** about! So spent Friday night in watching the TV (wi a carry oot of course, but even then had to buy that the day before!). Apparently some concession to the Catholic Church to honour the resurrection and all that so who am I……
I am actually sending this before the Star and Hearts games so wish them all the best. Taringa Rovers don’t play, like most local teams, over the Easter weekend. Their first home game isn’t until Saturday 5 April with a 7 pm KO (hot here yi see so they play at night). So will be heading there for a seat on the balcony and a few sherries (in memory of Sheepy Flockhart of course). They had a nightmare in their second game last week losing 7 - 0 to Brisbane Strikers. Dinae tell ah’ve found mair losers to follow! Thinking about taking Liz to Suncorp next Friday (if she behaves herself) to see Brisbane Broncos beating up the Gold Coast Titans at Rugby League. Almost every tackle in the games ah’ve seen so far they try to rip the heid off the opposition.
Well enough for one Ozblog so catch you lot later.
The Taringa Two
The regular Ozblog is set aside to make way for the sensational news that one the the so called Taringa 3 has been released and is returning home to Scotland. In an amazing turn around of events Nikki Russell will be returning to Scotland at the end of next week. No further comment was given but it is expected that she will reveal all on her return.
However a spokesperson for the two remaining Taringa 3 stated that there was no possibility of anyone else being released.
Episode 8
Well, what can I say. Been quite a week but I need to go back to the last Ozblog first and fill in some gaps. I am still suffering because my e-mail address is still on the blink but most of you will know why this edition is slightly late. However still working with a limited e-mail contact list so apologise to anyone who says: “What the f*** happened to Russell’s regular e-mails?” or better still forward them a copy.
Nikki at Noosa last week. Nikki went with friends to a place called Noosa which is about 1.5 hours north of Brisbane. Area called the Sunshine Coast that has great beaches and lots of restaurants, bars etc. so a lot of people go their on holidays, days off. This crowd had 2 apartments with a spa and plenty alcohol and seemed to spend most of their time 4WDing on the beach (whatever tugs yir wire ah suppose, naw?). Anyway she came home happy (or so it appeared!).
That same weekend the auld dudes from Alexandra Hills (remember they left Nitten 40 years ago) came over for the weekend. He started on the beer right away (obviously a Nitten man!) before we went up Mount Coot-tha for a look at the view of Brisbane and a blether. Returned home about 4 pm and got the BBQ kindled up. Had a great barbi whilst consuming modest amounts of alcohol. Well this kind of continued into the night with pail fulls of alcohol eventually being consumed. I left the three of them just before midnight because 1) I had a skin full on Friday night and 2) The three of them were having different conversations together (and I couldn’t make my mind up which f***ing one to join in with!?!). Anyway they eventually went to bed at 4 am-ish with a good night apparently being had by one and all. Liz wiz up early (before me), went for the papers and cooked the breakfasts. The auld dudes eventually left about 2 pm and Liz went back to bed for about 2 days. The moral of the story? It’s never too late to be an alcoholic! Anyway the temporary Director’s job finished last week and I am back to being a common or garden shite. Great though really getting into the swing of things even to the point of being controversial (Transport Scotland guys will understand). However last weekend. Found out about Taringa Rovers and their league has started but they are playing their games away from home (albeit in a Brisbane league) for the moment because their pitch is being used for cricket finals. They play in blue and white (dinae tell me! Ah can think of a song they could use….) and have a (shitey) social club. Apparently if you don’t have a social club you can’t get in the league - oh joy! Went to the social club on Friday night (7 March) and met the barman, Brett, (he ended up actually being the heid cook and bottle washer) there were 6 people in, loud music, 2 pool tables and shite beer. Canni think of any place it reminded me of…… However yi can sit outside on the balcony behind the goals with a beer watching the game - oh joy! Me and Nikki went first (10 to 15 minutes walk if yi ken where yir gawn) with Liz following by taxi. Liz’s taxi driver ended up being from the planet Jupiter and took her on a tour of Brisbane before dropping her off at the club. She phoned us about 4 times for directions and even the locals hadn’t a clue where the f*** he was! Fortunately (for him) he only charged her $10 (£4) for being a cock-end. Ended up getting talked into going to watch them playing cricket in their preliminary final (yeh, mair of that American pish where if yi win the league yiv still got to play umpteen games before yi really win it. What the f*** is that all aboot?). Went down most of Saturday (they were well ahead at the end of play) had a few beers with them and a massive pizza carry out and weaved my merry way home at about 10.30 pm. Can’t think where/when I’ve done that before…… Went back on Sunday afternoon and they won after going through a nervy spell. So they play their Grand Final (f***ing groan) this week but haven’t found out where yet. Been told I have to go because I am the lucky mascot. What a bind!?!
Anyway now onto the inevitable subject of Nikki going home. Not too much to say really except that she has been missing her friends and sister and it became all too much for her. No big deal, if she wants to return home it’s her decision and there was no convincing her to stay. She arrives home next Saturday 22 March at 9.45 am (all being well) to be met by an uproarious crowd of four (can hear the screams already). She will be fine and plans to stay with her sister for a bit, get a job (no comment), restart her life etc etc. No doubt she will be at the Musselburgh game so give her a hug and buy her a drink (because if yi dinae ah’ll find oot!). Well I am off work today (Friday 14 March) on flexi time. Been to the doctor for the first time but it was painless (get it? Painless. Ah well, suit yir f***ing self!) Sitting outside, a bit cloudy but about 27C. Ah did tell yi it was hot over here did a no? Liz is sitting in her jammies thinking of getting her arse out of neutral and going for a swim. Yeh, ah know, life’s a bitch (then yi go to Australia). Apart from the cricket not sure what we are up to yet this weekend. By the way I was 35 on Wednesday 12 March. Well ah thought ah wiz until Liz pointed oot ah was holding the card upside doon! Went for a Korean at lunch time with a couple of guys from my work. Went to see 10,000 BC last night and not sure about it. It’s a mixture of Stargate, the Mummy, King Kong, Jurassic Park, Braveheart and the Fifth Element. I’ll leave it up to you to decide.
Well Easter next weekend (and yeh Christ did rise on the same day in Australia as he did in the UK (Jane, just in case you let Stacie read this (sorry Liz’s family in-thing))) and a long weekend off to look forward to. Ozblogs will be back at the usual frequency next week with the story of this weekend and much more to come. Catch you all then.
Yours in Oz
The Taringa Three
MESSAGE ENDS
EPISODE 7
So to complete last week’s tasters first of all. The fancy reception took place at Queensland Reds rugby union town centre reception howf. It’s located upstairs at Eagle Pier (where all the fancy clubs & restaurants are in the CBD) with a cracking view looking on to the river and Storey Bridge. I was invited to the re-launch of a big consultant firm called Hatch. A number of notables were there and the food and drink were top class. So there was me hob-nobing (as one does) but not too taken with the drink so I sneaked up to the bar and ordered a Carlton Lager. Having sneaked that I thought that was the end of it but no matter where I went in the room the waiter spotted me running out of drink and duly arrived with another beer, service or what? Point of story (apart from showing off) is to point out that yi can take the man oot o Nitten but not Nitten oot o the man!
Other tempter was of course reaching the giddy heights of Acting Director for 2 weeks while the Director stands in for the General Manager while he is on holiday (summer here remember, ah did mention how hot it was here? Maybe naw). Having great fun getting the due respect from all and sundry and of course the kudos that come with the job. Another good thing here is that you get paid the going rate for standing in as opposed to my last job where cover was expected. So this taste for the elevated role has left me planning for a permanent shot.
Bit of a serious start this week so I don’t know that the NSFC websites will attract much readers beyond the first line! However ah’ll sin sort that oot. Headed for a work’s tennis day last Sunday full of enthusiasm raring to show of my skills. Should have remembered that we Scots are f***ing useless at anything on a world stage except fitbaw. Anyway, totally ignoring the last point the family headed for Carindale Tennis Club looking forward to the day. Of course they all turn up from the serious (real gear, tanned legs) to the ridiculous (stupid wig, overweight (and, naw, it wisnae me)). All have snacks and drinks to share; a real weekend team outing. So I get hold of my borrowed racquet and head off onto court. 30 seconds into the warm up the left calf goes ‘POP’ and ah’m f***ing crippled much to the hilarity of one and all. Never felt so much pain for ages and in absolute agony for the rest of the afternoon [PS Didnae start to walk properly until Thursday!]. And just to compound the agony Liz steps into the breech and promptly wins her game. Nikki didnae have a game because she’s resting up before she starts her work (now Monday 10 March because trainer is unavailable).
And another thing….. These events seemed worse at the time because I was still having severe difficulty walking on Monday morning. I went up to the bus stop in instalments and sat waiting on the bus. They have these electronic signs at the bus stop that tells you the bus number, location and time of arrival (in yellow dot matrix form for the technologically interested) of the next 4 buses plus the current time, e.g. 425 City Centre 08:06, Time 08:01 so yi ken yiv 5 minutes to wait. Well it has usually worked OK but this day it was like the baws in the lottery machine. The bus numbers and arrival times where changing so often yi hadnae a clue what was coming next and when. So ah wiz up and doon like a fiddler’s elbi and in ma condition. Well ah ended up getting oan the next bus not giving a f*** where ah wiz gawn. And low and behold (you guessed right) it took me to a stop with double the walk that I normally have (and in ma condition). Funny how things usually work out like that, eh?
Well I am writing this on a Sunday afternoon (2 pm our time, 4 am your time). Nice and sunny, about 28C, sitting in ma shorts and t shirt, Nikki up reading the paper (been at Noosa with friends (for next week)) and Liz in bed because we had visitors yesterday and much alcohol was consumed (for next week). As I said first week of acting Director under my belt and Nikki’s work start put back a week.
I see the Star had a good win against Armadale making promotion still a possibility. The Jambos won at Inverness, the bookies must be loving them just now trying to work out what they are going to do next! Oh, and just found out that there is football to watch in about a months time, yahoo! Apparently the A League is played when every other team/league is out of season to boost the crowds. So once its finished all the lower and juvenile leagues start up. Believe a team called Taringa Rovers plays somewhere close so me and Nikki are planning to find out where plus get the carrie oot on order! Will keep you up to date with events there.
Not much more of note has happened so I will leave it at that for the moment. Cheers!
Well update time again. However I need to backtrack at bit because I forgot some detail in the last bulletin. It became apparent that at the end of last Friday night (15 Feb, the night ah goat kind of pished because ah thought big Gogs wis wi mi, remember now?) that we left the pub with a few more things than we went in wi. So wandering about the apartment ahm saying where the f*** did that stupid red wig come fi? Answer: “You came hame wi it own on Friday night!”. Dinae tell mi ah thought! Where did the beer cooler holder (yi see they’ve goat these wee insulating things ti keep the beer cauld because it’s si hot near. Ah did tell yi it wis hot here did a no?) come fi? Where did that big Australian flag come fi? Where did awe they f***ing key rings come fi? YI BROUGHT THEM HAME ON FRIDAY NIGHT FI THE PUB, NOW SHUT UP! And his face was shut! Kitted oot through alcohol again
By the way ahm typing this on a beautiful sunny Saturday afternoon; a mere 36C today (5 pm our time, 7 am your time). Sitting in ma shorts an baseball hat sweating like ah don’t know what (Liz says a wisnae ti type it in case somebody’s bairn reads it!). Nikki was had her start date confirmed as Monday 3 March, stick it in yir calendar folks because it will probably be the day the world comes to an end!
For those who don’t know the Roar managed to get beat 3-2 after extra time. They had their chances in the first half but failed to take them and paid the price. Ah well, there is always next year. And next year they are letting in two more teams both from Queensland so a couple of local derbies. However ‘local’ can mean a plane ride in Australia. The teams are, wait for it, Gold Coast Galaxy and Townsville Titans. Sounds like remakes of auld films, naw? Gold Coast are really a local team (2 hour car journey) so me and Nikki will be off to that one. Ah think it’s the first game of the season as well (some time in July). Hope they play in green…….
Sorry to hear the Star game was off last week but all to play for today (you will probably receive this as you are getting out yir scratchers before the game). Hope all goes well and remember the texts, we will be up waiting anxiously. Ah think it’s a 2.15 pm KO which is 12.15 am our time.
Finally a couple of observations about things that have come to ma notice recently. Not in the same class as the wee stories ah did a wee while back but give a flavour for life Aussie style none the less.
There’s a school doon the road at Toowong (ahm no gawn ti say it again), quite a posh school cause they’ve awe goat the same claise own and wear boaters! Aye, a thought a wis seeing things the first time ah saw them. Anyway its called Brisbane Boys College (BBC) and ah pass it in the mornings at 7 am gawn ti work in the bus (now gawn by bus, 20 minutes door to door, eat yir heart oot Glasgow!). And low and behold they’re aw oot running about playing sports already. Oor lot in Scotland are jist gawn ti bed at that time!
Lastly, the pub we went to before the Roar’s last game at home (The Royal Exchange Hotel) in Toowong (yeh, ah know) organised a Toga party on Thursday night and ah passed it aboot 7.30 pm (had been at a posh reception (watch this space)). The place was absolutely heaving and they awe hud the right gear own. Not only that but the queue waiting ti go in was about 100 yards doon the road! Ah thought imagine this lot in the Star’s Club at the weekend never mind a Thursday night? Ian Halley yi wanting a joab?
Ah will leave the reception and temporary promotion to Director till next week (better suspension than Neighbours, eh?).
Yours, wi nae live fitbae ti watch
The Sportless Russells
EPISODE 5
Nae game for the Star! I see it was the only game that didn’t go ahead. Well at least guaranteed a big crowd next week, 1,500 plus? We have had a quiet week. Meant to go to the Queensland v Western Australia one day cricket game at the Gabba on Saturday but didn’t quite make it, know what I mean… Too much on Friday night. Ah couldnae understand because ah could have sworn that big Gogs wasnae wi mi! Noticed Hearts got thir erse felt at Parkheid again, well at least we are in good company with Liverpool & Arsenal joining in.
Nikki has got a job at last. Working with Chubb in their control centre, answering security alarm calls and the like. She fully expects to have to phone Ian Halley when the Stars Club alarm goes off. Full time job that will be. Anyway she starts training next week so we will see how that goes. Good wages so she’ll be aright for a len! No much chance every $ will be a prisoner.
We moved this week. No far though, only from no 16 to no 33 as part of our ‘deal’ mentioned a while ago. Better apartment, less money - can’t be bad. Anyway we look like we will be holed up here for a while longer because there is still no sign of our hoose in Nitten selling. Naebody want to buy a hoose, dead cheap, great neighbours etc? Not to worry though the area we are in is really handy for everything - work, shops, carrie oots, pictures (dinae go and watch “Jumper”, it’s shite!), pub, transport etc. etc.
Sitting oot the back writing this because the reception for our wireless Optus set-up is best there. 3.30 pm (5.30 am your time) and its aboot 26/27C, so sitting in ma shorts, t shirt etc while you are freezing yir arse off!
The Roar are due to play Newcastle away in about an hour or so with a place in the Grand Final on Sunday 24 February at stake. Their form there looks promising, they havni scored in their last 5 visits!?! However av goat a wee sneaky they will do it. They are off a big win against Sydney and Newcastle surrendered a 2 goal lead to Central Coast. Fingers crossed. Ah’ll probably go to the pub to watch it because ah’ve goat a flexi day off tomorrow. So must dash, need to powder ma nose then head for the hills. Catch you all again soon.
Love you all
The Russells
EPISODE 4
The first bit of today’s blog was written yesterday morning so is in quotes below:
“Well here I am again sitting out on a Saturday morning at 11 am (1 am your time) in my shorts and T shirt because it is 27C already (I did tell you it was hot here didn’t I? Must have done….). All’s quiet because Nikki disappeared from the pub last night and Liz is still in her scratcher. So peace to put down a few of last week’s events.
By the way thanks to the people who have sent a few words back recently, it was much appreciated. I know I don’t ask for any (or expect any) but it is nice to here from you. Also great to get the texts last Saturday from the Lochore game (wish I had been there). We were up anyway because they show the 3 pm EPL games live (1 am our time) and we were watching the Spurs v Man U game. We also had the internet on in Nikki’s room watching all the scores coming in live. Of course had too much to drink and didn’t get up to phone Gregor at his 60th bash in the Star’s Club. Was hoping to get up at 9 am (11 pm your time) but the best laid plans and all that…. Anyway heard it was a great night so tell him all the best from me.
We had a great night last night (except Liz but I’m coming to that) watching the Roar getting through to the final play-off place (not explaining it, so don’t ask!). Beat Sydney at the Suncorp stadium 2-0 in front of over 36,000 fans. Anyway (meanwhile back at the story) I decided with Nikki that we had had enough of sitting quietly so we were going to have a Nitten Star/Hearts type day (keep calm all will be revealed). Left work at 3 pm on Friday (7.30 pm KO) and got home and changed early. Had a small refreshment outside (32C at 4 pm (I did tell you it was hot here did I not….)) then we headed for the game. Public transport being free with the match ticket we headed to the Royal Exchange Hotel in Toowon (yeh I know, too wons don’t make a wight) which is one third the way to the stadium. Had a load of beers and me and Nikki made the game plan but Liz was having none of it, i.e. we were going to introduce Scottish footie songs to the Aussies (kind of a missionary thing) but Liz said that would be right. I’m not going to mention Liz again in this story but needless to say she was a pain in the f***ing arse all night! Oh and won the meat parcel in the REH fishing club raffle. Yeh I thought so as well, must be shite fishermen if they’ve nae fish to raffle!
Got to the game about 7 pm and had more beers because they are civilised and sell beer and spirits inside the ground. After a deluge of rain for 30 minutes the game started at about 8.10 pm (almost put off!). After a bit me and Nikki started “ Oh when the Roar etc.” (to the tune of “oh when the saints”) and had everybody looking at us like we had horns. Just as well it wasn’t “We’re maroon, we’re yellow, we’re f**king dynamite…!” However undaunted we continued through the game (fuelled by alcohol) singing and adding such small ditties like “Sydney, Sydney what’s the score” and “Stand up if you hate Sydney”. By the end we probably had an appreciative audience (probably because we won) and about 3 or 4 people joining in. My maths aren’t brilliant but I’ll be well deed before we get a few hundred to join in.
Anyway a missionary’s work is never done….. Sang again on the way to the train station (won’t repeat what Liz was saying by now). But joy, we did get two Newcastle supporters to join in although it was “Way down in Gorgie at Tynecastle Park…“ because Nikki had her Hearts strip on! Again Liz went daft and threatened to pull the communication cord on the train if we sang there! Anyway a great night was had by (almost) one and all. Footnote: she’s no gawn to another game with us (promises, promises…)”.
So don’t know if I can follow that but I’ll try and by the way I am now back live at 4 pm Sunday afternoon (6 am your time). Rest of the week has been calm, working away, a few showers of rain etc, etc. We had a quiet day yesterday (as one does) but headed to a Main Roads, Queensland new recruits bar-b-que today at 11 am. Met a few other new recruits and headed back home about an hour ago. Now sitting out writing this in a sunny patio (30C). Good victories for the Star and Jambos yesterday and looking forward to next week’s meeting with Linlithgow (they’re maroon, they’re white, they’re total f***ing shite…..). Remember and keep me up to date as it goes.
Well probably gibbered enough for one Ozblog so heading for the fridge for a cold one!
Your in sport
The Brizzy Russells
Well this really is a short one this time. Not much happening at this end or at your end it would appear. I still get the occasional e-mail or phone call that keeps me up to date.
Weather still warm, in fact the long weekend was a cracker with prolonged sunny periods and 31/23C temperatures (that’s day/night in case you didn't know). Went to Australia Zoo and had a good time as some of you will be able to testify. They have a really good show with snakes, birds and alligators (but not all at the same time!) which last for about an hour and a half; all clever stuff. Also went to Australia Day celebrations at the Southbank which were quite entertaining. Had to be dragged into a pub for a pint (and this was Saturday, 3 pm and it was warm!), I am a new man (halleluiah brother). Also took Liz on another 5 km up-and-dooney forest walk (told her it was 1 km and on the flat!) which she thoroughly hated. She says next time I stop the car anywhere near a forest I am on my own!
Passed Nikki yesterday morning getting ready for work (me not her, don't panic!) because she was having an all-nighter due to football on the tele and Hearts on the internet. I was passing her at one end of the apartment listening to Hearts World radio commentary (we wiz robbed by the west of Scotland mafia) and the TV at the other end with Man U on. Glad she can stir herself for something!
No football here this weekend (semi 2nd leg Friday 8 Feb). I hope you guys get a game this weekend with the possibility of Linlithgow at home in round 5, yahoo! We have no plans yet but it's early yet.
Well nae wee stories this week (pretty boring for the website Ally) so catch you soon with the next Ozblog.
The Ozzy Russells
EPISODE 2
Just a short catch up note this time folks. I am afraid I used up my bank of wee stories last time (except one as you will see later on).
Weather continues to be warm (26 to 28C) but with still some showers and cloud around. Still sitting outside every night reading the paper having the odd alcoholic refreshment (as one does). However me and Nikki are having to hide Liz's red wine because it's going down too easy, add the heat and you can imagine what she's like. We've offered to wire her up to the local grid and get our rent for nothing! Still working out where to connect the wires.
Had a nice night out last Saturday (10.30 pm our time, 12.30 pm your time) listening to the Jambos humping the HIB positive. Get on there! Then phoned the Stars Club and spoke to everybody (and their brother) because they had been thrown out of Lochore without seeing a game (pish referee, bad decision to put game off – now where have I heard that before?). But it was great to have a natter to everyone – almost like I was there (well I had had a few bottles of strongbow cider (dry – f*** knows what that means because it tasted wet to me!) and a few more cans of Bundaberg rum and coke). Don't worry, with the phone card it only cost about 3 GBP (no pound sign on keyboard).
Watched all the 'A' League games at the weekend and true to form the Roar went to f** and ended up fourth. So they now go into the play offs which I would like to explain but the rules are worse than the ones we had at the Legion Gala day five-asides many moons ago when only 3 teams turned up! Anyway they start off this week away to Sydney (Friday 6 pm I think) and then at home to them in 2 weeks (Sunday at 7 pm I think). Doing a lot of thinking eh? By the way, should have been at home first but the Police (as in 'massage in a brothel') f***ed the Suncorp stadium up this week (well there fans did anyway).
Still going around looking at show houses (with buying land and house separately in mind) and there are some crackers at very reasonable prices. I know that some of you lot would go nuts if you saw them. I keep saying to Liz, "Imaging bringing Lynne into this; she would have a blue fit!". Steady Lynne! This weekend is a 'bank holiday' weekend for Australia Day. I have tomorrow (Friday) off as flexi and Monday is the holiday. No houses this weekend, we are just going to chill out, probably go to Australia zoo (ex-Steve Irwin's zoo, better look oot for the stingrays then!) have the odd barby, swim in the pool (I did tell you it was hot here didn't I?).
Finally last wee story (for the moment) I remembered:
Queensland Rage (pronounced 'raj' –as in Niddrie)
Making my way to work one day – you know, breakfast ootside, short train journey to centre of toon and then walk to work. So I'm walking down George Street like in the Matrix film – you know, everyone stopping and starting at traffic lights and so on – when I happened to notice that there was, what could only be described as, a parting of the waves happening up ahead. Of course you wonder what it is especially because as it is heading towards you! As it approached I got sight of this wee nippy c*** with a face like fizz talking oot loud. As he got closer I realised he was saying stuff like, "F***ing Queenslanders, you’re a shower of f***ing w**kers!!". Of course I burst oot laughing because I thought this was brilliant. What came to mind was how far he would have got in Glasgow saying, "F***ing Scotsman, you’re a shower of f***ing w**kers!!". I gave him 5 yards! Couldn't resist looking back, and yes he was still weaving his merry way along the pavement.
Well so much for a short one! Watch oot for the next Ozblog.
Yours in sport
EPISODE 1
The Ozzy RussellsJust a wee update mainly to follow up on the 'other tit bits forgotten' comment I made in my last e-mail. We have decided on four stories spread over the last few weeks.
Story 1 – Godzilla
To let you understand there are 2 versions of this story, Liz's and mine. So to be fair I will tell them both together using (Liz/me) to describe them. Don't worry you'll soon catch on. Anyway I was sitting out in the wee garden area of a weekend in my shorts having a bite to eat and reading the paper. I did tell you it was really hot here did I not? Probably did. Anyway the peace was interrupted by this (6 inch/6 foot) lizard which (crawled under the gate/took the gate off by the hinges). It approached me so I (ran like f***/reversed slowly) into the apartment. After it (wandered about aimlessly/ate the table) it then wandered out the gateway. You would have been scared too (Liz: he's just a shiter!).
Story 2 – It's raining beetles (no, NOT rain beetles!)
Went to the Roar game against Melbourne (the lost 2-1 at home game) and it had been really hot during the day (I did tell you…..) but was even clammier at night (7 pm KO). So we were sitting there and noticed the sky was full of these things flying about. Not long after the game started we noticed we were getting hit at regular intervals by something or other. We soon realised that these things in the air were flying beetles and were bombarding the crowd! By half time we were awash with these things and Nikki was ready for going home (probably having shit herself many times when they hit her!). However they did calm down the second half but it was an enlightening experience!
Story 3 – Twenty20 hen night
Me and Nikki (Liz goat the cauld) went to the Queensland v Tasmania Twenty20 cricket match last Thursday. For the cricket lovers, Queensland, chasing a respectable 175 total by Tasmania, won by 9 wickets (a close to unbelievable achievement by the way). So in amongst this crash bang wallop of a game there were these 6 or 7 young women (a flattering description by the way) in the row behind us who were quite pished (and had their leg, arms and so on painted purple (I didn't like to ask!)). They spent the whole game roaring and screaming and threatening to sh** any fielder who came near us. I have to say it puts our abuse of Nitten Star opponents into perspective. However fair dos to one of them, they had this catch the ball competition between innings where a machine lobs these balls about 75 yards and these 3 people had to catch as many as they could. One of the purple people marched out onto the pitch and proceeded to catch as many as the other 2 guys in the competition. However I wouldn't like to have bumped into this lot later on in Brisbane!
Story 4 – The Roar's casuals
Been going to the games and happened to notice this crowd who appear just before the start of a match and sing abuse at the opposition fans but have no club colours on. They stand/sit near the opposition fans, so me and Nikki got tickets near them for last night's game against Sydney to see what the story was. However nae (I'm no goan anywhere near that lot!) Liz. Goat there and sure enough they appeared and started the auld "you're shite and you know you are" and so on. It became obvious quite soon that they were mainly English supporters who presumably work here. The police kept a close eye on them and they even had a sort of exclusion zone round about them.
The Roar drew 0-0 but are still top of the League on goal difference. Sydney, Newcastle, Central Coast & the Roar all have 31 points and last games are next week! The Roar are away to Adelaide and if they beat them (and they should) they will probably win the League.
What else? At the week-end also went up to Mt Coot-Tha which is next to Taringa. The views of Brisbane are unbelievable. However ended up on a 4 km up-and-doony forest trail and burnt Liz oot big time! On Sunday we went to a builder's village at Warner (20 km north of Brisbane CBD). Basically lots of local builders have put show houses (45 no) in one scheme so you can see them all in the one place. There were some crackers and at reasonable prices. The big deal is buying land but there are developers who have bought and serviced 20+ plots at a time so you can buy one of them and order your new hoose to be built. Now seriously on the plans.
Finally hope to here soon about Nikki's apprenticeship because she needs to get her arse into gear soon (or I'll boot it into gear)! Well must dash, look out for the next Russell Ozblog.
The Russells of Oz
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